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{"id":36,"date":"2014-08-26T18:16:40","date_gmt":"2014-08-26T18:16:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/?p=36"},"modified":"2014-08-26T18:16:40","modified_gmt":"2014-08-26T18:16:40","slug":"can-men-and-women-be-just-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/2014\/08\/26\/can-men-and-women-be-just-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"Can Men and Women Be “Just Friends”?"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is a hard one for me to answer.\u00a0 I know what I think, but I’m sure there is someone out there who can prove me wrong.\u00a0 From my experience as a counselor and working with people for a over a decade, I have come to the conclusion that men and women can be “just friends” IF they have really good boundaries.<\/p>\n

\"friends1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Otherwise, all bets are off.\u00a0 This post will be about my definition of boundaries.\u00a0 The first boundary is being able to talk about dating other people.\u00a0 If you can’t do that, then you will be jealous when they start dating or get into a serious relationship.\u00a0 If you are truly “just friends” you should be able to become friends with their significant other with no problem.\u00a0 Their significant other shouldn’t feel threatened by you either.\u00a0 They shouldn’t have to compete with you for your friend’s attention.\u00a0 If you are truly a friend you will want to hang out with both of them at times and won’t mind if he\/she doesn’t have as much time for you.<\/p>\n

The second boundary is not becoming too emotionally attached.\u00a0 This friend shouldn’t be your best and only friend.\u00a0 If you become too emotionally close, it can cause problems.\u00a0 For example, if you talk to your friend at all hours of the night you are going to feel really hurt when they can no longer text you back because they are too busy texting their new boyfriend or girlfriend.\u00a0 They will now be going to this other person for emotional support.\u00a0\u00a0 Their girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t going to be okay with you texting them 24\/7.\u00a0 Your friendship will come in second to the relationship, and this is how it should be.\u00a0 Not that it is okay for them to ignore you like you don’t exist, but be aware that they won’t have the time or energy to meet all of your emotional needs anymore.\u00a0 If you can keep this boundary, it will make the adjustment easier when they do end up in a relationship.<\/p>\n

The third boundary is not having sex with each other.\u00a0 “Friends With Benefits” may work when you are both single, but how is it going to work when one of you gets into a relationship?\u00a0 Most people in a relationship have a hard time when their partner hangs out with someone they’ve had sex with in the past.\u00a0 If your friend is being honest in their relationship, then their partner will know they’ve had sex with you in the past.\u00a0 It could make it uncomfortable for them to hang out with you, which means your friend now has to choose between their partner and you.\u00a0 Guess who they are probably going to pick?\u00a0 Think long and hard about having sex with a friend because it could screw up your friendship in the future.<\/p>\n

\"friends\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It is good to have friends of the opposite sex, but be aware of the potential complications. You need to be aware of\u00a0 what your underlying intentions are.\u00a0 If you really want to date this person and feel a stronger connection to them, be honest with yourself.\u00a0\u00a0 They are no longer “just a friend”.\u00a0 Also, be aware of their intentions or underlying feelings for you.\u00a0 Do you get the vibe that they are only hanging out with you because they are wanting more?\u00a0 Do they come to you with all of their problems?\u00a0 How do they react when you start talking about dating other people?\u00a0 Sometimes your intentions can be innocent, but it isn’t fair to take advantage of someone’s friendship when you know they really want more from you.\u00a0 It is good to have a solid boundary with this person because they could make it hard for you when you start to pull away.<\/p>\n

If you keep these simple boundaries in mind, it will help keep your friendship solid and intact even when you or them start dating more seriously.\u00a0 Try not to let just one person become your main confidant.\u00a0 Don’t spend all your time with this person.\u00a0 Go out with your other friends and have other people you can count on.\u00a0 This will help you keep those boundaries and prevent future heartache or drama.\u00a0 If you can do that, you should be able to be friends with the opposite sex with no problem!<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
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This is a hard one for me to answer.\u00a0 I know what I think, but I’m sure there is someone out there who can prove me wrong.\u00a0 From my experience as a counselor and working with people for a over a decade, I have come to the conclusion that men and women can be “just […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[9,7,17,5],"tags":[25,26,32,18,20],"class_list":["post-36","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-friendship","category-healthy-relationships","category-respect","category-single-life","tag-college","tag-dating","tag-friendship","tag-relationships","tag-single-life-2"],"acf":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4s1Yj-A","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":180,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36\/revisions\/180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}