It’s not easy to put yourself out there.\u00a0 Some people live to meet new people and have no fear going up and starting a conversation with a perfect stranger.\u00a0 Other people struggle with their fear of rejection.\u00a0 They are interested in new people around them, but it can be scary to start something with someone new.\u00a0 Especially if you’ve recently gone through a bad break up or you’ve been single for awhile.<\/p>\n

If you have fear, the only way to get over it is to face it.\u00a0 Outgoing people will tell you they are less worried about how they feel and more concerned with making others feel good.\u00a0 If your goal is go out and meet new people, try to take your focus off your fear and focus on making just one person you meet smile.\u00a0 Realize that not everyone you meet is going to be interested in talking to you.\u00a0 That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you or with something you said.\u00a0 Some people just won’t be in a good mood or be interested in any type of conversation.\u00a0 Don’t let those people set you back.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Look for people who seem more open or friendly.\u00a0 Dare yourself to give them a compliment.\u00a0 Try to learn something from what they are wearing or how they are interacting with others.\u00a0 Use your observation skills to give you something to start a conversation with.\u00a0 If you’ve ever noticed, shoes will tell you a lot about a person.\u00a0 Shoes can give you clues into hobbies someone has or what type of job they do.\u00a0 Their shoes can tell you if they are more laid back or more stylish with fashion.\u00a0 Their clothes will also give you other clues as well.\u00a0 Finally, look at their face and their body language.\u00a0 Do they gesture or show a lot of expression?\u00a0 Or do they seem more closed off because their arms or crossed and their face seems blank?<\/p>\n

Also, realize that you are giving off vibes as well.\u00a0 What does your appearance say about you?\u00a0 Non-verbal cues give off a lot of information to others to let them know if you are more open or closed to being approached.\u00a0 Are you smiling and interacting with others?\u00a0 Or are you sitting alone hunched over your drink at the bar?\u00a0 You don’t have to be super fit and all GQ to get attention.\u00a0 Your appearance does matter, but how you are projecting yourself to others matters even more.\u00a0 You want to seem approachable instead of giving off a vibe that says, “Please leave me alone”.<\/p>\n

It is okay to be nervous, but try to be aware if you are sending off desperation signals.\u00a0 Sometimes you can try TOO hard and make the initial approach very awkward.\u00a0 Remember to think positive and tell yourself positive things to keep your anxiety at bay.\u00a0 Every person has great qualities, but not all people are aware or acknowledge their positive traits.\u00a0 Try to focus on those qualities and realize you have a lot to offer other people.\u00a0 When people get nervous they can focus too much on the negative and think of everything that can go wrong.\u00a0 Instead, try to stop yourself from going down that path and try to be more positive about yourself and others around you.\u00a0 Confidence will carry you a long way.<\/p>\n

Even if you don’t feel all that confident, you can fake it a little until you get more comfortable initiating conversations.\u00a0 Practicing will make it easier.\u00a0 I often tell some of my shyer students to start conversations in less intimidating places.\u00a0 For example, smile and ask how the gas station attendant’s day is going.\u00a0 Talk to the cashier at Wal-Mart or the grocery store.\u00a0 Go to places where you don’t know anyone and take a few risks without too much pressure.\u00a0 The more you risk facing rejection, the easier it will become.\u00a0 You will become used to the fact that not everyone responds positively, but that a lot of people will.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

The key to remember is that you aren’t trying to make yourself feel better, you are trying to make someone else feel better that day.\u00a0 Not every person you interact with has soul mate potential or even one night stand potential, but you never know when you may interact with the right person who ends up becoming someone significant in your life.\u00a0 Just don’t give up and remember that nothing in life worth having is ever easy.<\/p>\n

“Whether you think you can or you can’t- you are right”\u00a0 Henry Ford<\/p>\n

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”\u00a0 Eleanor Roosevelt<\/p>\n

“This time, like all times is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it”\u00a0 Ralph Waldo Emerson<\/p>\n

“Fall seven times, stand up eight”\u00a0 Japanese Proverb<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s not easy to put yourself out there.\u00a0 Some people live to meet new people and have no fear going up and starting a conversation with a perfect stranger.\u00a0 Other people struggle with their fear of rejection.\u00a0 They are interested in new people around them, but it can be scary to start something with someone […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6,9,7,5],"tags":[38,32,34,21,18,20],"class_list":["post-43","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-being-positive","category-friendship","category-healthy-relationships","category-single-life","tag-being-positive","tag-friendship","tag-healthy-relationships","tag-rejection","tag-relationships","tag-single-life-2"],"acf":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4s1Yj-H","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":132,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43\/revisions\/132"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}