Loss is hard.\u00a0 Fortunately, most college students who are dating don’t have to deal with their boyfriend or girlfriend dying.\u00a0 It does happen, but it is a lot more rare than a typical break up.\u00a0 However, many students do lose grandparents, a parent, brothers or sisters and even friends.\u00a0 It makes you think about how fragile life really is.\u00a0 It can make you stop and evaluate your choices in life.\u00a0 There are so many things people take for granted when it comes to the people they love.<\/p>\n

It is easy in the every day stresses of life to believe that the people you count on the most will always be there for you.\u00a0 I have met with a lot of students who really can’t imagine losing their boyfriend or girlfriend or even their close friends to death.\u00a0 It is easier to imagine losing a grandparent or distant relative.\u00a0 It is a little harder to comprehend the loss of a parent, a sibling or a friend who still has so much life to live.<\/p>\n

That is usually why it can be harder to accept.\u00a0 No matter how a person dies, when it happens to someone you love, it can be hard to understand and accept.\u00a0 So, how do you move forward after losing a loved one?\u00a0 You’ve probably heard it takes some time.\u00a0 It isn’t easy, no matter what anyone tells you.\u00a0 Your mind, your heart and your soul are going to go through a long process.\u00a0 The grief process has five steps.\u00a0 1. Denial\u00a0 2. Anger\u00a0 3. Bargaining\u00a0 4. Depression\u00a0 5. Acceptance<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

You notice that acceptance comes after a lot of other emotions cycle through.\u00a0 No person grieves the same either.\u00a0 That is why it is hard to know what to say to someone who is grieving.\u00a0 Some people want to talk about the person and feel better when they open up.\u00a0 For others, they don’t want to talk about it.\u00a0 They do better when they stay busy and distract themselves a little more.\u00a0 For most people, you can’t go wrong with giving the person who is grieving a hug and asking if there is anything you can do for them.\u00a0 Sometimes just bringing them a home cooked meal is enough.\u00a0 Just knowing that you care and you want to help is better than nothing.<\/p>\n

If you are the one grieving, be patient with yourself.\u00a0 Some days you’ll wake up feeling better only to crash back into depression or anger a few hours later.\u00a0 It is a long grueling process, but time does eventually help.\u00a0 The days and weeks pass and your brain will start to adjust.\u00a0 At first, you may be resistant to letting go of your pain.\u00a0 You don’t want your loved one to feel that you’ve forgotten them.\u00a0 I remind people who are grieving that you can still remember them without feeling so much pain.\u00a0 You can start to remember them with a smile and actually feel happy in your memories instead of feeling so lost or sad.<\/p>\n

Life has a way of marching on whether we like it or not.\u00a0 Days, weeks, months and then even years pass.\u00a0 New people come into our life.\u00a0 They don’t replace the people we lost, but they fill in the gaps that are still there in our lives that need to be filled.\u00a0 The only positive thing about loss is being able to empathize and understand what other people are going through when they experience it.\u00a0 You will be able to relate and give encouragement to those people because you’ve been their yourself.\u00a0 This may help you, in a way, deal with your own loss.\u00a0 Giving to others has a way of healing your own heart from the pain.<\/p>\n

Even though we are all different, all of us at one point or another are going to experience a loss of some kind.\u00a0 I hope you never have to experience what the people of Aurora, Colorado are experiencing.\u00a0 I also hope as a college student you don’t have to go through the death of parent, sibling, friend, boyfriend or girlfriend.\u00a0 It is hard enough to get through the stresses of college.\u00a0 Going through a major loss can make it a lot more complicated.\u00a0 If it does happen to you, know that you have choices.\u00a0 You can withdraw from classes for the semester and take a leave of absence.\u00a0 This will allow you to focus on your family or getting help for yourself without having to stress about papers and tests.\u00a0 Many students have had to do this and come back to school after a few months feeling a lot more prepared to deal with class.\u00a0 Other students need the distraction and choose to stay in school at this time.\u00a0 There really is no right answer on how to best deal with situations like this.\u00a0 Do what you think is best for yourself and your situation, and try not to compare yourself to others students.<\/p>\n

Also, find trusted family and friends to talk to and gain support from.\u00a0 You may also decide counseling is something you would like to try.\u00a0 It can be helpful because you are able to open up without feeling like your burdening your family or friends who may be dealing with their own grief.\u00a0 Many people have stated that counseling has been helpful, but it isn’t for everyone.\u00a0 You can do some research to find out what ways of grieving will work best for you.\u00a0 Just remember it is a process.\u00a0 It is okay to be angry, upset and sad.\u00a0 However, if you feel you’ve been stuck in one part of the grieving cycle too long, it is time to do something to be able to move forward.\u00a0 One step at a time is the best way to approach the grieving process.\u00a0 Feel free to look into any of the websites listed below that may be helpful.<\/p>\n

Coping with Grief and Loss<\/a><\/p>\n

Understanding Grief<\/a><\/p>\n

5 Stages of Grief<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Loss is hard.\u00a0 Fortunately, most college students who are dating don’t have to deal with their boyfriend or girlfriend dying.\u00a0 It does happen, but it is a lot more rare than a typical break up.\u00a0 However, many students do lose grandparents, a parent, brothers or sisters and even friends.\u00a0 It makes you think about how […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[9,22,2],"tags":[32,43,41],"class_list":["post-9","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-friendship","category-grief","category-loss","tag-friendship","tag-grief","tag-loss"],"acf":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4s1Yj-9","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":138,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9\/revisions\/138"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}