Why is it that everyone in the world seems so obsessed with love, but no one seems to know how to love themselves?\u00a0 I know some people think they are the center of the universe.\u00a0 However, that sounds more to me like self-absorbed, not self-love.\u00a0 I’m talking about enjoying being in your own company.<\/a><\/p>\n

I hear a lot of people say they don’t like to be alone.\u00a0 Is this because they are extroverted and feel energized around people?\u00a0 Sometimes.\u00a0 A lot of the times I notice people are trying to distract themselves from their negative thoughts.\u00a0 Even introverted people who like to be alone will distract themselves in their alone time.\u00a0\u00a0 These distractions come in the form of friends, the internet, food, alcohol, marijuana, shopping, tv and even homework.\u00a0 Anything, instead of having to deal with their emotions.\u00a0 Why is that?\u00a0 I think it is because if people stay busy they don’t have to admit they don’t really like themselves.<\/p>\n

When I ask students in my office to tell me what they like about themselves, I usually get a long pause.\u00a0 Those words don’t come easy for most.\u00a0 However, if I ask the same students what they don’t like, I better have a pen and paper ready because I’m going to have a list of many things in a few seconds.<\/p>\n

Some people have never had a positive role model in their life.\u00a0 They’ve never had someone say positive things about them or even seen anyone have a positive attitude in general.\u00a0 This person will not only have to learn how to create positive thoughts, they will most likely have to work hard at erasing all the negative voices in their head.\u00a0 Some people are lucky and have had people around to support and love them.\u00a0 However, they are still their own worst enemy.\u00a0 They still have to learn to find their own positive voice inside.<\/p>\n

Let me tell ya, a little kindness can go a long way.\u00a0 It has to start small.\u00a0 You aren’t going to wake up one day and find that you are suddenly full of love for yourself.\u00a0 The first way to start is to think of little things you enjoy or like about yourself.\u00a0 They can be about the way you look, feel, or things you do.\u00a0 You can even appreciate things that no one else does.\u00a0 Not everyone sees things the same way.\u00a0 For example, my dad believes to be successful you have to make a lot of money.\u00a0 I realized I started to feel successful when I saw how I could help people.\u00a0 Even though I don’t make a lot of money doing it.\u00a0\u00a0 Others don’t have to agree or believe the same way for you to believe it about yourself.<\/p>\n

Another example is this:\u00a0 A girl walks into a grocery store to buy ice cream.\u00a0 As she grabs the Ben & Jerry’s off the shelf, a girl on her left thinks, “I wish I could be that skinny and eat ice cream.”\u00a0 Another girl on her right thinks, “No wonder she is so fat.\u00a0 She eats ice cream.”\u00a0 So what should this girl believe about herself?\u00a0 That she is fat or skinny?\u00a0 It all depends on who she asks I guess.\u00a0 That is why it is important to develop your own beliefs because not everyone is going to have the same perspective. \u00a0 And that is okay.\u00a0 Beliefs aren’t wrong or right.\u00a0 However, they can be more positive or more negative.\u00a0 Many people tend to believe more negative things about themselves.\u00a0 In order to change, you have to sometimes shove out what you’ve heard from others and develop your own ideas.<\/a><\/p>\n

This isn’t easy, but it is also not impossible.\u00a0 Beliefs are very powerful and you can change them.\u00a0 I’ve also found that no one can reassure you but yourself.\u00a0 Some people think they need to be in a relationship to feel good about themselves.\u00a0 They feel if someone else loves them then it will be easier to love themselves.\u00a0 However, I’ve found your significant other can tell you all day long that you’re smart and fun, but if you believe you’re stupid and boring you will bounce those compliments right off your negative shield.\u00a0 It is good if there are positive people around you, but it doesn’t always make a difference unless you choose to embrace those positive beliefs yourself.<\/p>\n

This means you can be single and still learn to love yourself for who you are.\u00a0 It is actually better to learn to love yourself before you get into a relationship.\u00a0 Then you won’t be as vulnerable to people who tell you what you want to hear just to get something from you.\u00a0 You will be confident enough to see through other people’s manipulation and strong enough to stand up for yourself.\u00a0 You will also be more willing to wait for a truly great person to come along.<\/p>\n

P.S.\u00a0 Just because you love yourself doesn’t mean you can’t set goals and improve things about yourself.\u00a0 But it does mean that you shouldn’t try to improve only because you are comparing yourself to others.\u00a0 Once you can let go of the comparing game, you can spend that time focusing on your own beliefs to reach the goals that make you happy, not someone else.<\/p>\n

P.S.S.\u00a0 Just because you love yourself also doesn’t mean you can’t spend just as much time and energy to love others.\u00a0 You don’t have to stop doing one to improve upon the other.\u00a0 There is room for yourself and others in your heart.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why is it that everyone in the world seems so obsessed with love, but no one seems to know how to love themselves?\u00a0 I know some people think they are the center of the universe.\u00a0 However, that sounds more to me like self-absorbed, not self-love.\u00a0 I’m talking about enjoying being in your own company. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6,7,17,5],"tags":[38,34,18,42,20],"class_list":["post-99","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-being-positive","category-healthy-relationships","category-respect","category-single-life","tag-being-positive","tag-healthy-relationships","tag-relationships","tag-respect","tag-single-life-2"],"acf":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4s1Yj-1B","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=99"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":105,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions\/105"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=99"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=99"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.valdosta.edu\/counseling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=99"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}